Life is Difficult!

Well, I had such good intentions when I began this blog of using it to record what we do every day. But....life gets busy and it just hasn't happened. We've been doing stuff, but I am barely making it through each day lately.

As we approach the start of a new year, I feel like this is a good time to pause and reflect on our direction. I need to come up with a mission statement the keeps us focused. It is so easy to let the everyday business of life with 4 children and outside commitments distract me from our purpose.

I have been and will continue to pray for God's guidance and wisdom in the area of educating our children and for direction of our lives in general. I feel like he has a definite plan and purpose for us and I am just not "getting it." As Ezekial 12:2 puts it, I "have eyes to see, but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear. I am a rebellious person." I don't want to believe that I am rebellious in my heart. I profess that I desire God's will for me, but I am seeing that I must be. Hosea 14:9b says,
"The ways of the LORD are right;
the righteous walk in them,
but the rebellious stumble in them."

As I have struggled through the last week or so, I have to descibe my life as stumbling. I have staggered and even fallen down. I am sad to say that the holidays have overwhelmed me. I pushed myself physically to get eveything done just to "get through" Christmas. I am so sad about this. I regret that I did not prepare myself properly to remember the Christ child with joy. I was a poor witness to my children and obviously missed many learning opportunities. All I can do is begin again with God's help and wisdom.